The arrival

Today is the day...today HAD to be the day. I checked my e-mail and sure enough...it was back in our town and going to be delivered. The phone rings and I glance at the caller id. Private caller...hmm. I hesitate for a moment and decide to pick it up.

Man: STEFANIE V------!?
Me: (Feeling like I was about to win a prize with a greeting like that) Yes?
Man: (in his best game show voice)I just wanted to let you know your package that you've been waiting for will be delivered today!
Me: I've been waiting for it...thank you.
Man: You're welcome!

I could actually see the grin on this guy's face when listening to him talk on the phone. Well..at least the package is coming today.

Claudette texts me...Did pup arrive yet?

I respond with a not yet but I know that he's coming. She informs me that a video is a necessity. I agreed.

I was making pancakes for lunch for the kids when all of a sudden I see a shadow coming up my front porch. The mail man has arrived!!

When he leaves, I open the door and lift up the mailbox lid. A nice, white puffy package is in the mailbox. So I close it and come back inside.

Jared asks me, in between bites of his pancake, Is Pup here yet?
No, I reply, not yet, finish eating your food.

Then I give a dramatic breathe in sound and look at the front door. Jared looks at me with his eyes wide open and says, What?

Pup is here, I reply. He stabs the remaining pieces of pancakes and shoves them in his mouth. He puts his plate in the sink and makes a run for the door. I grab my video camera and regular camera and follow him.

He steps outside and opens the mailbox, grabbing the puffy envelope. Jared's eyes look like it was Christmas morning. I knew he couldn't wait to tear open that package. He sits on the couch and asks me to come sit beside him. With the video camera set up and my camera in my own hands, I sit next to him and watch him meet his new friend once again.

Jared is having a bit of trouble so I open part of the package for him to get him started. I'm so surprised how he is taking his time and opening the package so dramatically...so slowly...perfect for video. Pup was wrapped in white tissue paper so neatly and when Jared took him out of the envelope, he fell out of the tissue paper into his lap. He grabbed pup and yelled..SHAKE PUPPY!

I got a little choked up seeing my son become reunited with his best friend. It was a touching moment. I also thought about the old shake pup that was thrown away and wondered if the new pup would ever replace him in my own heart. He fills Jared's heart with love so that's all that matters.

I'm so impatient!

I just want to get the damn package already. I see that it is at the town over from me and it's probably just sitting there at the post office. So I Google post office for the number and call it up. Hey, I'll drive 20 minutes to go pick it up!

This is how the conversation goes:

Me: I explain how I have a tracking number and how the package is at that particular post office.

Bitch: Do you have a PO Box?

Me: No.

Bitch: Then I don't have any mail for you.

Me: You fucking bitch

*CLICK* I hang up on her.

And yes, I did say that last part to her on the phone.

No benefits? Poor pay? Bad hours? What the fuck are these people so miserable about? They must go to some training course provided by the USPS that teaches them to be grouchy bastards. Life is too short to be miserable. Maybe it's good that they all work there...this way they're all rounded up and can be miserable together...you know what they say about misery and company.

Getting to New York

I ordered a new pup on e-bay on the same day that he was lost. All this time with me searching for pup, finding out that Jared's beloved pup was thrown away and getting a phone call from the wonderful post office, the new pup was making his way over from Colorado to New York.

The listing said 4-7 business days. It came with a tracking number and like a freak, I would press F5 every so often to refresh my page and see pup's whereabouts. I got excited when I saw that he was in the next town over from us. I thought to myself, Jared will get him today and I'll take pictures and post them on Facebook...until..

On no.

Pup was redirected to Brooklyn.

WTF?

So I called up the customer service number for the USPS...or like I call it...Hell. Because seriously...all the people that work for the USPS suck. They are miserable people who have an attitude and shouldn't be answering the phones. They need some people skills to say the least.

I tell this woman my tracking number and ask why it's heading to Brooklyn. She's nasty and curt and I just wish there was an option to reach into the phone and slap her dead in the face.

I ask her if the postal worker will deliver this package or return it so it comes back to me. She responds with a "how am I supposed to know" and "if he brings it back...then he brings it back".

So I got my case number. If the package goes missing then I have a number. What good does that do for me? I'll have to go on e-bay...get my money back and then start the process over again to search for a new pup.

I wake up today and go on to check my tracking number today. Who knows? Pup might be travelling to someplace exotic today. Maybe he got rerouted to Indonesia. You never know with these incompetent people from the USPS.

Phew! He's back to being one town over again. I check my mail today. Nothing. Jared did, however, get a cute gift from my friend Claudette. She sent a red dog collar with an engraved tag on it. The name? Shake Pup and our phone number. Isn't that awesome? Love it.

A letter will follow

I giggle at the title of this because my friend Rachel told us that she was going to write a letter about a crappy experience she had on a cruise. She used the words, "A letter will follow" and every time we have a bad experience we always say...A letter will follow.

So here I am again...up at 5am. I'm beyond upset at this point. Yeah, I'll admit it. I cry sometimes thinking about the whole situation. But now, I'm furious. I get up out of bed and see the sun is coming up already. I sit down at the computer and begin to Google: Post Offices, Head Postmasters and the website of the USPS. I find an area where I can fill out a complaint on the web and describe my situation. So I wrote it all. I even called the janitor a moron because I couldn't think of any better synonyms for him. I checked the box that said I would like a response by e-mail but put my phone number down anyway.

3 hours later, I get a call from the post office. This woman was the head supervisor and she went on to say that the post office doesn't have a lost and found. They also have a hold for 2 days policy. Then she told me that if the toy was so important, I should have called or come back and picked it up. I was appalled! She also added that I shouldn't have been in the dumpster and that it was dangerous.

I argued the fact that the janitor was extremely unprofessional and was laughing, making fun of my son's toy. I told her I thought it was absurd that the only hold something for 2 days. I even argued about the fact that the janitor found it on Saturday and then threw it away on Monday...how does that make it 2 whole days?

No one could have had a heart and disregarded their 2 day hold policy for the sake of a child's toy? Did that thing take up so much room that someone couldn't have put it someplace for at least a week?

So I got a good "talking to" on the phone from head asshole over at the post office. I don't think I'm done with my complaint because I still would like to inform the head postmaster of the idiots he has working at his post office.

So, in the words of my friend Rachel, a letter will follow.

The day he disappeared part II

I was in bed last night early...I couldn't sleep. All I could do was retrace my steps over and over to where the pup might be. I decided that I would go to the park and the post office to see if he was there. It was worth a try.
I drove to the park and went inside to ask about the pup. Nope. Nothing.
I drove to the post office and went inside. The people there know me so they say hello. I ask them if they're seen pup. The lady says..YES! We found him here on Saturday!! Oh my GOD! I can't believe I'm going to find him...I'm so excited as they search for our beloved Pup. She comes out and says...I can't find him..he was here at our station and now he's gone. I dont' know if they threw him away or not.

Panic sets in. I'm so close...please let me find him.

Then this goofy janitor comes in...laughing...oh yeah...I threw that out last night...it looked like a rag.

WHAT? LAST NIGHT??? Where? They point me in the direction of the dumpsters and I make a run for it.

I'm looking at this tiny hole in the dumpster that I have to jump through to get to the garbage.

They say to me...I wouldn't go in there if I were you. I reply...You obviously don't have kids. Looking at myself in flip flops and capri's and think...I don't even care.

With that, I pull myself up with all my strength and launch myself into the dumpster. I'm standing with 7-8 black garbage bags all around me. The guy hands me gloves and I get to work. I ripped open all the bags except the last one. Each bag I open, I'm praying and hoping that I'll see him and rescue him from this crappy dumpster.

Then I get to the last bag. I rip it open. Nothing.

No pup.

I sit there sifting through the rest of the garbage...maybe I overlooked him. How could I? I would spot him.

Then that stupid goofy janitor comes out and says this...

Oh yeah...that's today's garbage. Yesterday's garbage went out last night or early this morning.

Are you kidding me? I'm so pissed at this point because this guy held on to a child's toy for 2 days. They found him Saturday and threw him away Monday night. I would have thought a week would have gone by and THEN they would have given up.

So I look at this guy and say...you owe me thirty dollars. That's how much it cost me to replace it. He laughs as I pull myself out of the dumpster and he hands me my cell phone...don't lose your phone now...he says. I said...why don't you throw that out too...no one needs it, right?

The woman looks at me and whispers...I'm sorry.

Me too. I'm sorry that I didn't look at the post office in the first place. The post office with the red brick floor and the wooden tables that the psychic talked about. I put all my efforts into looking at Chili's that I never thought to look at one of the other places I was at.

Where does the garbage go after it's been picked up by the trucks. I actually asked my dad that. He says to me...you don't want to get that pup after he's been through the garbage and you would never find him.

I now have a nice story to tell my son when he gets older...how mommy went dumpster diving to get a pup.

Proof that a mother will do ANYTHING for her kid.

The day he disappeared

I know that some of this is a repeat but this is what I wrote on the day of the disappearance and I didn't want to edit it. So, sorry for the repetitive stuff.

Like at every baby shower, you get a bunch of things. One of the many things I received at my baby shower for my first born was a security blanket that had the head of a puppy attached to it with arms. It was so cute. After many months after my son was born he had a liking to this blanket. He carried it everywhere, he chewed on his ears and his arms. Everywhere we went, this blanket came with us. He was washed hundreds of times...his colors faded...arms and ears were demolished. Now he was just a head with a rattle attached to a blanket. Soon after that, his head popped off and we had to do some extensive surgery to reattach his head. Jared named him pup or shake pup and when people would ask him what he was holding, he would proudly shove it into their faces, shake him and reply..this is my shake pup. For 5 years, pup graced our home. Like one of the family, he played outside, took baths (in the washing machine), sat at the table during dinner and went to sleep with Jared. He had a great way of sleeping with him...he would drape him across his chest and have pup's little head snuggle against his cheek. Jared would say...mmm...I love you pup and make pup say I love you too in his best puppy voice back to him.
Jared brought him out to his pre-k graduation and stuck him in the back of his stroller so he could see him graduate. Then afterwards, Jared wanted to go out to lunch to Chili's to celebrate. When I suggested that pup stay home, he said...he wants to celebrate with us. How can you argue with that? So off we went to Chili's. Pup sat in the booth next to Jared while he ate his cheese sandwich, came with us in the bathroom and then left the restaurant. We got to the car and drove to the park and then off to the post office to run a few errands. When we arrived home, we hopped out of the car and Jared slammed the door. "Where's pup?", Jared asked. I looked at him with a blank stare..."He's probably in the car". Jared went back to the car and looked. No pup. Under the seat. No pup. Oh no. Pup's gone.
Frantically, I buckled everyone back in the car and drove back to Chili's while I called them to look before I came to look. "No, sorry..I don't see anything". I get there in record timing and I run inside during dinner time and start looking all over the place for pup under the seats...in the bathroom...nothing. I went back to our booth where we were sitting and look again under the table, explaining to these nice old ladies that my son lost his little pup and I just would like to look quickly. Nothing. Discouraged, we walk out to the parking lot and retrace our steps as we walk to the place where we parked our car. I turn to look at Jared and I say to him...I'm so sorry Jared. I think he's gone. Tears build up in his eyes and he lets out a sad cry as the tears fall down his cheeks. I throw my sunglasses on...I'm now crying because my son's pup is gone. We walk back to the car and go home. Jared is sniffling in the back of the car and I keep looking at him in the rear view mirror feeling so bad for him. His best friend...pup...how could we lose him? How could no one spot him? I call Rob and I tell him the story while I burst out crying. I tell him to please go to Chili's after work and look again for me. He goes. Nothing. In my freakishly traumatized state, I write to the psychic that I'm friendly with...in desperation...maybe she knows where Pup is. I even go on e-bay. There has to be a replacement Pup...but I know it's not the same. This one has ears and arms. Jared's pup has 5 years with him...the memories...the trips...the snuggling in his bed. Jared comes up behind me and looks over my shoulder at the e-bay page with a new pup on it. "Mama...what are you looking at?" I turn around and wipe the tears off my face. "It's a new pup", I say. He looks at the computer screen and a small smile appears on his face. I ask him, "Do you want a new pup?" He shakes his head and replies, "Yes". I said, "He's not the same as old pup..he has arms and ears and a red collar...he's new. Are you going to still be sad about the old pup?" He thinks for a moment and then says the most heartbreaking thing ever. "No...maybe someone found old pup and took him home. Now it's his turn to take care of someone new."

Wow...I got up from the table and started crying again, trying to hide it from Jared. That was the sweetest thing I had ever heard a kid say.

We placed the order on e-bay that day. The new pup will be here in 4-7 business days. He's travelling all the way from Colorado.

The weekend had passed and we were slowly getting over the loss of pup. Well, maybe he was. Not me. I was still upset. I started thinking how ironic it was how he lost pup on the day that he graduated pre-k. The baby years of school were gone and so was pup...something that symbolized his baby years. Something that got him through a scraped knee or a nightmare. I was upset and cried because all that represented him in a stuffed animal was now gone. Nothing to hold onto...nothing to show him when he was married one day.

The phone rings on Monday afternoon...I pick it up and who is it? The psychic. She told me that she had some feelings like something was wrong with me. She wanted to call me the day before but didn't. She just read the e-mail about 10 minutes before she called me and then her feelings finally made sense to her. She started to tell me about her cat...whom she calls pup. She knew that her cat and my situation had a connection. Little did she know that my e-mail about Jared's pup was linked to the name of her cat...Pup.
I said to her..."He's probably gone...I just wanted to know if you had any feelings as to where we left him...where he was lost."
She replied..."He's not gone...he's not in the garbage...he's underneath a bench...something wooden."
She then described Chili's perfectly. The red brick color tile floor, the long aisle to the bathroom, the wooden benches. She tells me that someone accidentally kicked him under the benches and he's there.

So I send Rob back again tonight to check once again. He said he did a thorough scan of the restaurant and he didn't find a thing.

Wow. I guess she was wrong about that. She was right with so many other things...she also told me to check the place where I didn't go....the post office and the park center. So I guess I will be checking there tomorrow. Even though new pup will be here in 4-7 business days, I still wanted to bring old pup home. I envisioned pup with dust and dirt all over his face being brought in by my husband. Oh well. I guess new pup will have to do for now. But that doesn't mean I'll stop looking.

Like I said...I think I was more upset than Jared. Rest in peace pup...thanks for the memories.

The last picture

After reading the last post, you can see that the years have gone by and Jared has brought Shake Pup everywhere. He brought him everyday on the way to nursery school and would leave him in his car seat until he returned later. On his first day of Pre-K, Jared posed with Pup and brought him in the car again...following the same nursery school tradition. He even brought his to his Pre-K graduation and out to Chili's afterwards to celebrate.

This is Pup's final picture. It's not a clear shot of him, but from the blue satin, you know he's there. He's sitting on Jared's lap.

You might wonder why I'm talking about a final picture.

On June 18, 2010...Pup was lost.

Millions of pictures

I love taking pictures. If I look back to my shutterfly account, I think for Jared's first year I have over 1,000 photos. Of course I have his firsts in pictures...first bath, tooth, smile, steps, etc. I decided to look at some old shots of Jared and clean up my online photo account and organize. I never realized that Shake Pup made it in to most pictures. If you look carefully, you'll see an edge of blue satin in part of the picture somewhere near Jared. The casual shots that were snapped everyday as well as the milestones...pup was there. Take a look for yourselves!

Ears and arms are gone...as well as the head

Yes. It was only a matter of time before I knew that it was going to happen. From the constant chewing and biting. Pup's ears are little stubs and the arms are obsolete. I actually had to cut them off because I was afraid that Jared might bite them off and choke. Poor Pup. It didn't change the way Jared felt about him. He was still the same old pup...just a different look now. His collar was no longer red, it was white. He was a pale blue with the fuzzy part of his head missing. He was a raggy pup but like I said before, it didn't change the way Jared felt about him.

Jared would sleep with him in the same way every night. He would lay the blanket part across his chest and have the head lie next to his cheek. I'd cover the two of them up giving kisses to both. It's like Pup was my helper...when I wasn't there to take care of Jared at night if he woke up in the middle of a dream...pup was there in an instant...comforting Jared and soothing him back to sleep.

I think I began to fall in love with pup too.

The first few moments

I don't remember that exact time when Jared got attached to the puppy...9 months...a year...I can't remember. But I know that he loved him. When Jared started to talk, he named him Shake Pup. Shake Pup went everywhere.

I had professional pictures done after Jared was a year old. We were at the park...Jared was dressed in the cutest outfit. But in his hand was that puppy. I wanted some nice pictures without it and tried to pry it away from his fingers but he would scream so I just gave in and let him have shake pup. Who wants to deal with a screaming toddler anyway?

Looking at the pictures now, I'm happy that he took those pictures with his pup. It was his best friend...who was I to try to take that away anyhow?

The birth of Pup

When I was pregnant with my first son, my mother threw me a wonderful baby shower at her house. I received all the baby essentials...bottles, diapers, wipes, etc. I also received this adorable security blanket that had a puppy's head and arms attached to it. I never knew that this puppy would fall under the "essentials" category. I placed it in the crib while preparing for my son's arrival.

Our son, Jared, was born on June 13th. He was a big boy weighing in at 8 pounds 5 ounces. We were instantly in love.

My husband and I brought Jared home and began our new lives as parents. I put this puppy in his crib as he got older and he took a liking to him. I was happy that he had a security blanket...something to keep him safe at night.

I had no idea what I was getting into with Jared and his pup.